Le Journal de +Louise

After a long and chaotic day behind the desk, last night I went to class anticipating a good relaxing stretch. As I proceeded deeper into Half Moon, a dull pain slowly crept up from my lower back towards my left side.

I tried to focus on my shallow breaths by fixating my gaze on my quivering obliques under the thinly soaked lycra. White knuckled, beads of sweat trickling down my forehead, some found its way into my eyes, clouding my already blurry vision; some found its way onto to the parched towel below. It felt like a lifetime before the next posture, a few yogis around me started to fidget and subtly shift their weight around, quiet grunts and heavy breathing became almost deafening in the room.

As the teacher shouted “Change!” and with a clap of her palms, the entire class let out a collective sigh of relief and moved simultaneously into the next posture. I curled my lips and broke a faint smile as I snapped my body back into the center and the pain went away instantly. Throughout the rest of the Standing Series, I struggled. With my breath, with my balance, with my mind. However, everytime I heard the word Change!, my mind willed itself away from the pain and I was able to pour my concentration into the next posture instantaneously.

As I walked towards the car into the cool autumn night, I recalled a conversation with A several days ago. She is extremely frustrated about her job, her boyfriend, and her life. That wasn’t the first conversation we’ve had on the same subject. I tried my best to listen intently and eventually asked her the inevitable.

Why hasn’t she done anything different about it?

After a pregnant pause, she eventually replied, “I’m afraid. What if things change for the worst instead?”

I sat quietly in the car, as the windows fogged up and the twinkling streetlights morphed slowly into dull yellow spots peppering the sides of the roads, I thought about my class.

About how I struggled and how much I wanted to just give it all up. I thought about how a simple clap and a simple word of ‘Change’ provided me with such a welcomed relief and transformed my entire perspective when I was in the worst state of mind.

Change. Such a simple, succinct word. So comforting, so profound.

I thought about A again. I thought about the hopelessness she’s feeling.

I wanted to say to her, “Change can be a good thing”.

Sometimes a good change is all you need.

+Post title is a quote from Henry David Thoreau